La's World

First world problems

My luggage is filled with too much stuff and my limit is 40lbs soo what am I going to do? Mail stuff back to myself overnight to Chicago lol. Serious first world problems Lololol. It’s cheaper than paying for excess luggage lol

You just can’t wake the dead.

I just really hate when a relationship goes sour and people are just not willing to let go. Some relationships are not built to last and there are always signs of it.

Before you started talking to me on the level of ‘being together’, it was always I’ll treat you right, this will be the best experience you’ve had blah blah blah… Of course I had my reservations but you just won’t let up so I figured you must really like me. I became nice to you started to even let my guard down for you matter of fact I told you that if we were to start this whole thing it needs to be something serious just because you knew where I was coming from and you agreed. Of course I should have known then that you were selling a dream and because I had gotten to the point where my common sense had left my body and I was acting simply on dopamine, I was buying everything (lol, silly me).

One thing you should understand is when people admit to liking each other and have decided to act on it, you cannot treat them the way you treat a friend. You can’t say the person can’t complain, you can’t say the person fights you too much (I mean am I supposed to just accept stupid actions you take all in the name of being with someone? ) I never quite got that aspect of things. You expected me to just be cool with things because at the end of the day you wanted to eat your cake and have it. You wanted a girl you could have your way with but not deal with on the level of a gf because you just weren’t ready of course forgetting everything you once said. LOL. That aspect was actually hilarious to me and for a split second I actually started to believe the problem was with me you know. I thought hmmm Labake maybe you need to cool down let things be after all you like him and you don’t want to lose him. (I can’t even believe this was my thought process).

Remember when I was in NY earlier this year and I felt so bad about everything that went down even though me getting mad was fully justified, I kept calling and texting swallowing my pride to the point I had none when it came to you and I kept apologizing but you were just so nonchalant about the whole thing. Never have I felt so stupid in my life. Then when a mutual friend of ours asked you what was going on between us and you blatantly said you just were not into me anymore and I seemed to be really into you LOL. It was a blow to my face but of course I listened to what you had to say after and I believed you.

Let me now make something clear. You were never my cup of tea. Your persistence made me like you but somewhere in the back of my mind I always felt that I deserved better. I deserved someone whose emotions for me are not in what he says but how he acts. I deserve someone who wasn’t going to back out of a situation based on us fighting (keep in mind the fights were always about dumb shit you did but never saw a problem with). I pretty much let you get away with being with me knowing good and well for a lack of better words you were not man enough to handle me because you’re just a boy and I don’t expect you to understand. You probably would read this and it might go over your head but like I said you’re just a boy and you won’t understand.

Once I get to the point where I’m done, I’m done. I’m not going to fight you because i’ve come to a point where I realize nothing we had is worth fighting for because we had nothing. So don’t mistake my silence for being passive aggressive I’m not in anyway. I just want to get you back to level you once were in my life and if I remember I just didn’t care enough to hold a conversation with you most times then. Your calls, texts and offer for lunch are all very nice gestures but the time it would have been worth it has passed. At this point, I just don’t have the time to wake up the dead. Only God has that power and last I checked I’m very much human. So stop calling. Stop texting. I’m not mad, I’m just moving on I have moved on for a while now so please let my move continue. Go back to that your ex or that lanky girl who was so crazy about you. Either way they are your level of thought not me. I mean I did give you an opportunity to maybe move past that level but of course you’re just a boy and you never even realized it. Sad.

Anyways it’s been real. Let the dead rest in peace. Go and develop emotions and sell dreams somewhere else. This ship has sailed. Leave it that way. Thanks for understanding this is your closure I already had mine. 